In the interest of profiting from offsets -- the modern form of indulgences, paying cash for your sins -- upFront.eZine Publishing satirically announces the Bug Offset System (BOSsy).
We now generously allow CAD software corporations to pay offsets -- to compensate for their customer's lost time and productivity caused by software bugs, poorly designed interfaces, and incompatable file formats.
It is not possible for CAD vendors to know all of their customers who are plagued by these problems, or how much it costs each customers to recover. This is the reason for BOSsy being a system of generic offsets. You simply make payment for the number of customers in your database. Clean for you, green for me.
You may offset the guilt you feel over your customer's woes through the following pricing schedule:
1-customer offset = $1.50
10-customer offset = $22.50
100-customer offset = $506.25
1000-customer offset = $2,531.25
10 thousand-customer offset = $12,656.25
100 thousand-customer offset = $63,281.25One million-customer offset = $316,406.25 -- just 31.6 cents per customer!
More than one million customer offsets: please contact customer service.
Europeans: please double the prices listed above, and remit in Euros.
In exchange for this BOSsy payment, your corporate name and # of customer offsets purchased will be displayed in an entry on this Weblog.
Redeem yourself for sins past and future! Pay today.
In related news, you may also offset your cheating. "Want the the chance to offset infidelity by paying random strangers to remain faithful? A Web site makes the satirical offer to highlight its view of carbon offsetting." Read more here.
Ralph, in the spirit of carbon and Cheatneutral offsets BOSsy offsets are surely going to be re-invested into individuals and organisations who will be dedicated to ensuring they have no bugs and if this is to be the case have you been able to identify some initial investment opportunities?
Further more would you consider investing BOSsy offsets in individuals, or organisations, such as myself, that are dedicated to the task of 'over-sighting', not only software performance, but also the sneaky conditions found in embedded software Licence contracts?
Have a great Christmas Ralph and thanks for the info' & opportunity WORLDCAD Access provides.
PaulW
Posted by: R.Paul Waddington | Dec 14, 2007 at 06:10 PM
Great idea, but where does this money go, into CEO bonus accounts?
Posted by: matt | Dec 15, 2007 at 11:22 AM