The Sandman Cometh

I'm sorry, but press releases like this one --

Headline: Dassault Systemes Announces Extended Business Process Coverage across Multiple Industries with the ENOVIA MatrixOne PLM Solution

Subhead: Industry-Leading Collaborative PLM Environment Enhanced with Environmental Compliance Solutions, Industry-Specific Business Process Enhancements and Concurrent Electronic Design Capabilities; Further Extending PLM Throughout the Enterprise

-- cause both eyelids to make a motion that extends in the downward direction. In the body of the press release, we learn that the software has been given this redundant name: "ENOVIA MatrixOne Matrix 10 PLM platform." Throughout the press release, it's referred to as MatrixOne and as Matrix10. (MatrixOne was the name of the company until it was acquired by Dassault and folded into the ENOVIA division. My advice: drop the MatrixOne part of the name.)

As I tell my kids, don't complain unless you have a solution. With my advice ringing in my ears, here's how I'd've written the heads:

Headline: Dassault Systemes Updates Matrix 10

Subhead: PLM Software Enhanced for Environmental, Business Process, and Electronic Designs

Comments

[Donovan]

Now you know you won't get paid for rewriting the headlines regardless of how atrocious they are Ralph

When that press release gets rereleased using your headline I hope you send them a bill.

[Raoul]

One way to make money rewriting those soporific PLM press releases would be to create a blog dedicated to that. It's so pathetically funny I'm sure it could generate good traffic!

[French]

Mike, You surely do not like the French!!!, your English is not much better though :(

Ralph, I read your blog regularly and am happy to say that I learn a lot from it. However, as newspapers only publish what they think is good for readers; I suggest you do the same for your Blog. A comment like the one above from Mike should not have been posted..... Keep up the good work.

[Mike]

There was nothing wrong with my english verbage. Spelling, tone and tongue in check comment were correct.

It's not that I don't like the French. France history teaches us a lot. Architecture, art, guillotine, just to name a few. Modern France teaches us disrespect and unreliability. This is commonly known in the US. It's not personal, just fact.

[French]

1- Here is what's wrong with your English (...and I am quoting you):

< You probably meant "They are" or "They're" and NOT -their-
< Again, it is NOT "your" but rather "you are" or "you're"

2- Here is what is wrong with your knowledge of the French:
I do not think you should judge a whole nation, people, and culture the way you just did. What you are saying is not a fact but rather your belief, and it is wrong. I will refrain from going any further into this as I do not believe this is the right media for it; so....so long!

[Mike]

TOUCHÉ!

I stand corrected at least on YOUR book knowledge of English.

It started as a tongue in check comment, nothing more.

[Jason]

Grammer mistakes are rather common on the net as the pace here is a bit faster and less formal, people tend to post without proof-reading "THEIR" comments. Thats the internet for ya.

[ralphg]

Although I think that Mike's original comment was an allusion to Monte Python's "Search for the Holy Grail," I've now removed it.